Lies, Lies, Lies

Screen Shot 2014-03-24 at 4.26.04 PM“You can’t handle the truth!” – A Few Good Men

This week, I have been mostly becoming addicted to Suits and considering the nature of truth. Laughably, given the triumph of the pending reversal of the bank-charge-to-be, partner-in-crime and I were almost immediately robbed on TradeMe (a Gumtree/Ebay equivalent over here).

We handed over $1720 last Tuesday, expecting delivery of goods by Friday. On Saturday, I received a message saying said goods were broken on Thursday night. Having spent all our money buying a car on the Wednesday, the seller says they don’t have the funds to pay us back straight away. But there were assurances our money would come back to us asap. A week later, I followed up. They ‘honestly’ don’t have the money to pay us back. But will. By 1st April if not before. Never mind that we’re paying credit card interest in the meantime and have effectively loaned this guy 2k for a month for free to buy a car. Having said he’d send the goods on payment, why did he even still have them at the end of the week? Couldn’t he have posted the item when he went out to buy a vehicle with our money? Is it even broken, or is this whole thing a scam? This could just be an unfortunate situation. I’m trying to be patient, putting myself in the seller’s shoes. But I just can’t tell how truthful those shoes are.

I dropped a line to TradeMe to let them know the situation. But even if it becomes evident that the seller’s leading us on and not planning to return our funds, they can’t actually do anything to enforce repayment. Like so many things, online trading is all based on trust.

I don’t think I would have made a very good lawyer. I only ever wanted to be a movie-star lawyer anyway (Tom Cruise in The Firm, Tom Cruise in A Few Good MenTom Cruise in Cocktail… wait…). Anyway, I’m unsuited to a life of Suits. I just can’t hack lying. I’m not saying that lawyers lie. But when there are two sides to a dispute, lies are all around.

I was in court last month for a contractual dispute, representing my employer. It was a fool’s errand because, at every turn, I was confronted by lies. The respondent was lying; the witnesses were lying; disgruntled ex-employees were lying; or more current employees were lying about what the ex-employees had been told. Some lies were blatant, while other lies I’m sure they had told themselves with such conviction that they were convinced they were the truth – but that didn’t help me. I ended up pulling the case, because I couldn’t produce enough evidence that everyone’s lies were just that.

I wrote notes on how frustrated I was at the time – I’m looking at the garbled mess of hyperbole as I type. I couldn’t face a collusion of lies with an unsupported truth. And it killed me. Bear in mind this was just a small-fry contractual issue, not a life-changing criminal court charge. But I cried with frustration.

People lie. They cheat. They steal. They hurt. They maim. They kill. But we have to move through life with a little trust. There are good people who act in good faith and we can’t look upon everyone as the enemy. My hope is that in cases more important than my company’s dispute, truth overcomes lies and justice is done.

My hope is also that I get my money back from my TradeMe perp. Perhaps he is in good faith and really does just need some time, for genuine reasons. Hmm.

Let’s take a poll – am I getting my money back?! Who else has a problem with the lies other people tell? What’s the worst lie you’ve ever been told and how did you handle it?

16 thoughts on “Lies, Lies, Lies

  1. ontyrepassages

    I’m not especially good at reading these situations, but, sorry, but my gut tells me your money is gone. I hope I’m wrong. Sadly, the most notorious liar I know is related to me. The pathological lying reached the point that no one in the family trusts the person.

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      lol I hope you’re wrong too… But I’m erring on the side of your point of view at the moment!

      That’s so sad. I’ve known a couple of pathological liars in my time and they’ve hurt themselves through breeding distrust as much as they’ve hurt others…

      Reply
  2. Stanley Knotgood

    Sara, I was disappointed to read the above insinuation that lawyers are, generally speaking, liars. As you know, I am a lawyer, and I would like it to be known that I haven’t told a lie for at least eight and a half minutes (a new record in the legal world I believe! – I shall alert the law society press). In case you are interested, the lie that I told was in Pret a Manger because, despite informing the cashier to the contrary, I did not want that receipt. I don’t know why I said I did. Perhaps because I am a lawyer and, ergo, hard wired to lie by default. Of course, if that is true, this whole post is also a lie? Oh god, I can’t even tell myself any more!

    Martin L (ignore the account name – it’s a pseudonym. See, lying again…)

    (p.s. – Hope you’re doing well bun, and that’s God’s honest truth!) xxxx

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Lol I was very careful to insert the disclaimer that I was not implying that all lawyers were liars. Just that they are surrounded by lies :p Anyway, my view of A Life of Law is now Suits (twas formerly Ally McBeal), and there are so many lies in each episode that there should be a drinking game. Meanwhile, you need to seek help for your unfortunate affliction, perhaps in the form of a mystical wish from a child that means you can only tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth :p

      (I am doing well, thank you! And hope you are likewise!) xxx

      Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Thanks, I hope so too 🙂 I’m fed up with anti-fun – I’m about to write a *happy* post! Hope no one falls off their chair :p

      Reply
  3. Tam Francis

    Oh, man, that stinks. I’ve had my go-rounds with ebay, but it doesn’t sound like you have any recourse if he doesn’t pay. Is there a better business bureau kind of group there? Can you file charges against him, small claims? Sorry to hear this, but I LOVE your attitude. It’s sometimes hard not to label everyone liars in the face of a big one, but keep up the good fight and I’ll send positive vibes your way.

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Yeah I didn’t realise they had no power! The equivalent to small claims here is the disputes tribunal – although, he doesn’t dispute that he owes us the money back, so I’m not sure if it would qualify.. I think I’d have to take it to debt collection at a district court level… So much work! But it’s so much money, so if it has to go down that way then I’ll shoulder the admin and just moan about it… Thanks for the positive vibes 🙂

      Reply
  4. Deborah Makarios

    Do you know anyone who has a Doberman? Apparently they were bred for debt collection 😀
    Nil illegitimi carborundum! and leave some ALL CAPS 🙁 feedback on that slippery weasel.
    Keep hold of that thirst for truth and justice and we’ll make a hero of you yet. Although maybe lay off the lawyer-lies drinking game, because being Liver Replacement Lady ain’t all it’s made out to be.

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Lol I need to hunt down a Doberman! And I will DEFINITELY be all-cappsing his ass in the near future if I don’t get some good news… That’ll learn ‘im :p

      Reply
  5. daimonwalker

    Isn’t it strange that with diminishing trust, hope ruffles it’s feathers and springs forth with gay aplomb. So to that end I hope you get your money back as I don’t trust this seller of apparently non-existent goods.

    You could call them on it though. Ask for the broken goods if no money is forth coming. You still, technically own those goods broken or not. If they deliver the broken goods then you have your dispute. If they don’t deliver the goods, then you have your dispute. In fact, thinking off the hoof here (not sure why animal parts are galloping around my head today, it’s best to let them roam), is it not still a dispute? I mean the fact he says “yes, you’ll get your money back” doesn’t detract from you being without goods or money. The contract of buyer/seller is in dispute. I don’t know, I’m no lawyer. *he said truthfully*

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Ay, good point! About the hope and about the broken goods! I’m hoping not to go to dispute – but it looks more and more likely ey 🙁

      Reply
  6. Elena Linville

    Sadly, I would say that chances of you seeing the goods or your money back are extremely slim 🙁 I only had one problem like that on Ebay and the seller never sent the good to me (and I never got a refund).

    Reply
    1. Sara Litchfield Post author

      Aaaagh, this seems to be the common consensus… trying to hold onto hope :p but if it’s not to be, at least I’ve learnt something!

      Reply

What do you think?