Am I good luck? Bad luck? Or just too damn cute?
My Dad left on the weekend, back to the UK after his visit to NZ came to an end. My Mum left after her visit a month ago now – how time does fly! Partner in crime is up in Auckland for work for two weeks, so I’m left alone (sniff), cheating on him with books and blogs.
Disgruntled as I am to be temporarily solo (more sniffs), a few things I’ve read and seen recently have made me realise how lucky I am. If you ever find yourself needing a little perspective, look no further than the stories all around you.
Helena HB’s story of the missing two dollars and Laura Bates’s most recent TED Talk on sexism and solidarity beyond borders are two stories that stopped me in my tracks this week. Is it right that I feel ‘lucky’ not to have been abused as a child or a partner? I don’t know. But I do. I feel thankful. So many people haven’t been that lucky. I’m always going to be grateful for coming from where I’ve come from. I feel awful for the people out there who have come from so much darker places and had their trust and human right not to be abused violated.
I’ve always been superstitious. Don’t walk under ladders. No new shoes on the table. Don’t step on the cracks. Never spill salt without flicking it over the left shoulder. Heaven forbid I ever break a mirror… But while I don’t believe in tempting fate, I do still believe in making your own luck. It kills me sometimes that we can’t control the luck of the draw – we can’t control where we’ve come from. We can’t control the horrible things that people can be capable of doing to each other. But some brave souls will always show us that, wherever you’ve come from and whatever has happened, we can still control where we’re headed. And we can still control our own actions.
Can everyone stop, pause and find something to feel lucky about? Are black cats good or bad luck? Remember not to walk under any ladders, but also remember to make your own luck. There’s so much bad in the world. We need to do some good stuff to balance it out.
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Big hugs darling. Sometimes being alone sucks that’s for sure. If my terrible story made you posits reflect and be thankful for those around you and maybe show them an extra bit of love and appreciation then that makes me feel very successful and happy
That’s exactly what it does! Sometimes I could just crawl into a cave after seeing the news, or reading some of the terribly true, sad stories out there.. But what good would that do? I want to make more good stories happen.. Of course they can’t cancel out the bad, but it’s worth it if something you do brings a little light into the world.. You sharing your stories does that
Sorry Sara… I meant to respond to you this morning — I’m now into day 2 of a migraine, and am not functioning at my best.
Just wanted to say thank you to you for being so supportive these last couple of weeks. I’m really glad we discovered each other, and I hope that by the time Volume Two comes around, you’ll be bragging (in very hipster fashion) that you were reading Helena BEFORE it was cool.
haha it was *always* cool.. just the best people caught on ‘before you were famous’ – look forward to doing some looking down my nose at the latecomers to the party :p boo to the migraine – I’ve been there 🙁 hope it leaves you alone soon
Thank you darling. I just read blog/reposted one of the early chapters from falling one in an attempt to lure Amanda Palmer into becoming a fan! It’s a dead funny one I think you’ll like it
lol still chuckling.. Penny needs to go to Landan Town and hang out with some real cockneys :p
Yes, there are so many things I feel lucky or blessed about. But, I do agree you make your own luck by being forgiving, open-minded and generous. BTW I LOVE the cat picture it reminds me of a living version of Miyazaki’s Kiki’s cat.
Haha Tam you are so right!!! I love that cat… You’ve made me want to dig out that movie now.. Being forgiving, open-minded and generous – that’s a wonderful philosophy wonderfully put.
That cat does look like Kiki’s sidekick! Which means it’s too damn cute. 🙂
I actually enjoy solitude although I have never truly lived alone, because when I didn’t have a husband, I had pets.
I have a bad tendency to get down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself. Looking around and see the things other people have to deal with often helps me to see that my problems aren’t all that bad.
A good example: This morning started off with a “what’s wrong with the furnace?” scare. Fortunately, the repairman was here 30 minutes after I called, found the problem right away, and was able to fix it quickly and cheaply. A whole lot of luck there. But I’m also lucky to even have a house with a furnace in it, especially considering how cold our winter has been. So while I long to feel sorry for myself (routine out the window and I’m struggling now to get things done), I focus instead on all the good things: I have a house that has heat and I was able to pay the bill to keep the heat working. How lucky can a girl get?
Lol I do love that cat… Want to hunt down the real one! Solitude can be great, nice to have time to reflect.. But I am glad it’s temporary :p I’m so glad your furnace is fixed!! We have a wood burner, it was only the last day of summer a couple days ago and it’s already freeeeeezing! Midwinter is going to be challenging… But you’re right, lucky to have heat at all – a lot of people are going to be on ice! Keep focusing on the positives 🙂
A wonderful post. I come from one of those nightmarish childhoods to which you refer. Quite easily I could go on at length about how bad it was—but I won’t. I finally took charge of my life and refused to be a victim, refused to remain in a prison that was started by others, but that I was adding onto with each passing year. It was a long, agonizing process. Now I can look back and see those smoldering ruins and know that I escaped the tragedy that so many cannot find the strength to escape. “Now” is the dimension I reside in these days and I’m happier than I’ve been at any point in my life. Life is a gift that I’ve taken with both hands and am holding with reverence. 🙂
Ah I’m so sorry to hear the first part… But it makes it even more amazing that you’ve found freedom and happiness.. It’s definitely about living in the Now and enjoying the gift of the present – I’m so happy that’s where you are 🙂
Aw, adorable kitten! And I’m right there with you on being thankful for where you’ve come from. Even though I’ve had my fair share of darker times, I know that I’ve been given a dream of a life in comparison to others. Reading the charts of the patients at work… I have nothing to complain about, ever. I think we can definitely make a conscious decision to send some good out into the world and that those tiny bits of good can do wonders in battling the massive amounts of bad.
I’m so with you Aussa.. I want to hold onto thoughts like these when I get moany-petty and try and pass them on a little… Life is good and not to be taken for granted and we’re lucky to be in it! I can imagine the patient charts offer some perspective.. Not that your life has ever been anything than a walk in the park :p
Let us be thankful for those who break cycles, who hold back the flood of the past to protect the vulnerable of the present.
You know what they say – better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness 🙂
Haha absolutely 🙂 and totally agree, cycle-breakers show everyone what is possible and make for a better future
I don’t know about feeling lucky… But every night before I go to bed, I think of one thing I’m grateful for and verbalize that gratitude. I’d started doing it during a rough emotional time 2 years ago. And it’s worked wonders – it’s made me a more positive-thinking person overall. And it’s kind-of-sort-of-not-really the same thing as feeling lucky, but it’s all good, right? XD
Cutie-pie kittie! I want to scratch him behind his ears.
I think that is such a wonderful practice – remembering everything there is to be grateful about is sometimes one of the hardest tasks, especially when the things to be sorrowful about seem stronger… Feeling grateful / feeling lucky – I think it’s positive thinking at it’s best!
And I wish I had the real kitty!!
Agreed that it can be difficult at first to find one thing each day to be grateful for. But the longer you keep up that practice, the easier it gets. 😉
We do a similar thing – giving thanks for all the good things, particularly of that day, before falling asleep. It’s a great habit to be in, even (maybe especially) on those days when you’re mostly just thankful that it’s over. I guess you’re more likely to spot the diamond in the coal mine when you’re in the habit of looking for shiny bits.
Lol I’ve definitely had some days to be thankful it’s over about… I love your analogy – next time I’m choking on coal dust, I’ll remember the shiny bits that make it worth while.
That metaphor is perfect, Deborah! 😀